Once More with Feeling
by Jirapan
Summary: Forty-two days left. That's the number before graduation and Santana can't wait to get out of Lima and be herself. But shes having a hard time dealing with the fact that Rachel, the love of her life, is moving away. She's stayed in the closet for all of high school and no one knows her true feelings. With one terrible event she is offered to re-try those last three years.pleaseread
1. Forty-two days

"Would you do me a favor? Will you put this in your locker?" Rachel asked pulling her school photo out and showing it to Santana.

"You want me to put a picture of you in my locker?" Santana asked looking at the picture and furrowing her brow.

"Okay well we may not be able to sing together but, we have forty-two days left to at least be friends," Rachel said looking down at the picture. Santana took it and her slightly smirked looking down. "I'm going to give you a hug, it'll be quick," Rachel said nervously, Santana huffed out a laugh and smiled brightly while Rachel hugged her. Rachel started walking away.

"I'll see you in Glee club," Rachel said turning while walking before turning back. Santana continued to look at the picture, turning to where Rachel walked down and looked up watching her. Santana smiled and put the picture in her locker. She smiled at the picture and then turned back to where Rachel had disappeared. She sighed sadly, she wished she could have taken back all those remarks and things that she has done to Rachel over the years away… and be brave enough to come out of the closet. She loved Rachel with everything that she had.

She shook her head and remembered that she needed to grab music sheets from her home before Glee. She pulled out her phone and saw she had thirty minutes before the club started so she headed out to the parking lot and got into her car. She stopped at a red light and leaned back in her chair. Suddenly her phone went off, she looked towards it and then back at the lights. She had time to take a call. She grabbed it and saw it was Rachel and answered.

"Hey," Santana answered.

"Hi Santana, it's Rachel, I need to tell you that Mr. Schue moved up the Glee to start in about five minutes. And also I was wondering if you'd like to possibly do another duet with me? Like for Nationals?" Rachel asked. Santana smiled and was about to answer when she felt something hard and cold pressed against her head. She froze and looked to see a man with his arm through the window, holding a gun to her head.

"Out of the car now, don't try anything funny or I will shoot," he said. She looked at the man's face only to see it covered by a creepy mask. "NOW!" he yelled, making Santana flinch.

"Santana? What's happening?" Rachel asked after she heard yelling. Santana slowly reached over and put her car in park before exiting the car. Before she was able to make it completely out he grabbed her by the arm and pulled her out roughly, making her fall to the asphalt. Her phone slid a few feet away. She turned and looked at the man pointing a gun at her and then around. There were multiple different people just standing still in shock and watching. She looked at her phone when she heard Rachel's voice calling to her in a panic. She must have accidentally hit the speaker button. She looked back the man while her pulled down the hammer of the gun. Santana shook her head slowly and tears started rushing down her face.

"Please, don't," Santana begged, her voice breaking as the reality of this situation set in. She saw his teeth shine through the hold for the mouth on the mask.

"Thanks for the car sweetheart," he said before pulling the trigger. She heard a loud bang and felt hot searing pain through her body before numbness set in. She knew her body fell to the ground. She heard muddled screams and voices that sounded like they were distorted from water. Soon she recognized the high pitch noise of the sirens and heavy footsteps rushing to her. She closed her eyes and was engulfed by darkness.


	2. Second and Last Chance

Santana found herself in a very dark place, alone and afraid.

"H-Hello? Where am I?" Santana called out to the darkness. She heard her voice echoes throughout the dark space. Suddenly a bright light appeared; she covered her eyes, but then squinted slightly to see a familiar figure walk towards her.

"Santi?" she heard a gruff voice call.

"A-Abuelo?" Santana answered opening her eyes the rest of the way. They light disappeared and she could see her grandfather, he was slightly glowing and had a sad smile on his face.

"Oh, my sweet Buttercup. I am so sorry for what has happened to you," he said.

"Where am I? Where are we?" she asked desperately.

"You're in Limbo Santi. This is the place where people come to get judged after they die," he said.

"I'm… I'm dead? No, no, no, that can't be possible. I only have forty-two days left… I was supposed to graduate and leave Lima so I can finally be me in forty-two days," Santana rambling. Her throat closed up at the realization. Hot tears ran down her cheeks.

"I know Santi I know. But there is still a chance for you to be alive," her Abuelo said. Santana looked at him wide eyed.

"How?" Santana asked.

"Fix the way you were. Why were you so angry through high school Santi?" he asked.

"I…. I was afraid," she muttered.

"Of what?" he pressed.

"Of what people would do or say to me if I told them that… that I," Santana trailed off, not sure if she wanted to say it.

"That you what? You can tell me anything Buttercup," he said.

"That I'm gay," she breathed.

"Santana, why would you think that anyone would do anything to you because of that?" he questioned.

"Because… I saw what they did to Kurt and he wasn't a big bitch to everyone. I don't want my friends or my family to hate me," Santana cried.

"But they accepted this Kurt didn't they?" he asked.

"Well yeah, but like I said everyone hates me because I've bullied them for years. Kurt didn't, he's just a big musical dork," Santana said.

"Santana, you don't know that they'll treat you any different unless you try. As for your family, your mother and father will accept you no matter what. They were raised to be open minded about everyone. As for your Abuela I can't be too sure about," he said. Santana mulled it over before nodding.

"Alright… then how do I fix this?" Santana asked.

"You are given the chance to go back to sophomore year and start over. That is where everything really started. You will re-live from sophomore to the day you died. If you fix what is needed to be fixed then your life will continue. If you don't then everything will be the same and you will return here and I will lead you into the light. However there is a catch, your years are shortened to months. So you have three months to fix what has happened," he explained.

"What do I need to fix?" Santana asked.

"Only you know the answer to that," he replied. Santana nodded.

"Alright… I want to do it," Santana said.

"Are you sure?" he asked.

"Yes, send me back."


	3. Phase 1

Santana awoke with a start; she looked around in a panic. She recognized that she was in her bedroom. Santana glanced at her analog clock and it read 6:30 a.m. and the alarm was going off. She felt around her chest and found it completely intact, no blood, and no bullet hole. She sighed and reached over turning off the alarm before she heard a knock on her door.

"Yeah?" Santana called. She saw her mother, Maribel, open the door with a smile.

"Oh good you're awake. Quinn called no too long ago and said she'll be here at 7, and I figured you'd like to shower before she got here to pick you up," Maribel said.

"Yeah, thank you," Santana said with a smile.

"Of course honey," she replied and started heading out.

"Mom," Santana called. Her mother turned around and gave her a questioning look.

"Yes?" she asked.

"I love you… just thought I'd tell you," Santana said. Her mother looked shocked before a warm smile graced her face.

"I love you too," she said back before walking out. Santana sighed. It was time to be herself.

At 7 Santana heard a honking from a car and knew it was Quinn. It was still before any of them were old enough to have their driver's license. She entered the back and was greeted by a smiling Brittany. They linked pinkies and rode to school. On the way Quinn turned around in the passenger and gave Santana a once over.

"What?" Santana asked.

"Nothing it's just… you look different somehow," Quinn said before turning back around. Santana rolled her eyes and sighed. That is one thing she noticed, she still has her seventeen year old body.

When they arrived at school, they all got out and Santana and Brittany obediently walked behind Quinn. Santana rolled her eyes.

_So Quinn still thinks she's the hottest thing in the world._

Santana went through the day normally, other than not slushing anyone or insulting, until she and Quinn and a few other Cheerios were in the gym after school. Quinn pulled out her laptop and went straight to MySpace.

"Oh my God, look Santana Man-Hands posted another singing video," Quinn laughed along with the other Cheerio's.

"Come on Quinn, she… she isn't that bad," Santana defended Rachel, the words feeling foreign on her tongue.

"Oh please she dresses like a grandmother," Quinn said, confused by Santana, bigger bitch than her, actually defending Rachel. Santana rolled her eyes and took out her phone to look at. She heard Quinn click on her laptop and then Rachel's voice come from the speakers.

_Oh shit_

Santana thought looking at the time. Santana quickly stood and started down the seats of the bleachers.

"Where the hell are you going?" Quinn called.

"I have something for Mr. Schue!" Santana replied. She jogged down the halls and walked into the auditorium. She froze when she heard Rachel's voice sing. She slowly walked out to the seats and watched Rachel's audition. She finished and looked at Mr. Schue expectantly.

"Great Rachel!" Mr. Schue said clapping lightly.

"When are rehearsals?" Rachel asked immediately. Santana smiled at Rachel's eagerness.

"Well um-"

"Mr. Schue!" Santana called to him, walking down the aisle.

"Uh, um Santana is it?" Mr. Schue asked. Rachel glared at Santana while she made her way to Mr. Schue. Santana felt her heart drop at the look, but she had to remember, it was Sophomore year her reputation was already built.

"Yes," Santana answered.

"What can I do for you?" Mr. Schue asked.

"I would like to audition for Glee club. I forgot to sign up earlier," Santana replied.

"Oh, Well-"

"Auditions are already closed. Maybe next year," Rachel said cutting off Mr. Schue. Santana resisted the urge to snapback.

"Please Rachel, Mr. Schue…. Let me audition I won't disappoint you," Santana begged. Rachel's jaw dropped at Santana actually addressing her by her name and the popular girl begging to join Glee club.

"Of course you can, but practice times for Glee may conflict with Cheerios practice," Mr. Schue said.

"Then I'll quit Cheerios," Santana replied with a shrug.

"Why would you want to quit the Cheerios? Wouldn't you miss your popularity that you have established here in this school?" Rachel questioned shocked.

"I love singing and dancing way more that trying to get a bunch of people to bow down to me every time I walk down the hall," Santana said.

"Well if that's what you want to do, then go ahead," Mr. Schue said gesturing to the stage. Rachel walked down the steps and sat next to Mr. Schue while Santana took her place on stage.

"What will you be singing?" Rachel asked before Mr. Schue could get a word out.

"Um, Blown Away by Carrie Underwood," Santana answered.

"Alright go ahead," Mr. Schue said.

**Dry lightning cracks across the skies**

**Those storm clouds gather in her eyes**

**Her daddy was a mean old mister**

**Mama was an angel in the ground**

**The weather man called for a twister**

**She prayed blow it down**

Santana's rasp in her voice fascinated Rachel, she watched her with wide eyes.

**There's not enough rain in Oklahoma**

**To wash the sins out of that house**

**There's not enough wind in Oklahoma**

**To rip the nails out of the past**

**Shatter every window 'til it's all blown away,**

**Every brick, every board, every slamming door blown away**

**'Til there's nothing left standing, nothing left of yesterday**

**Every tear-soaked whiskey memory blown away,**

**Blown away**

Mr. Schue was astonished by the range and notes that Cheerio was able to hit.

**She heard those sirens screaming out**

**Her daddy laid there passed out on the couch**

**She locked herself in the cellar**

**Listened to the screaming of the wind**

**Some people call it taking shelter**

**She called it sweet revenge**

**Shatter every window 'til it's all blown away,**

**Every brick, every board, every slamming door blown away**

**'Til there's nothing left standing, nothing left of yesterday**

**Every tear-soaked whiskey memory blown away,**

**Blown away**

Santana's voice dropped and it captivated Rachel. She felt her heart thud at the sound and blushed slightly, confused by the feeling.

**There's not enough rain in Oklahoma**

**To wash the sins out of that house**

**There's not enough wind in Oklahoma**

**To rip the nails out of the past**

**Shatter every window 'til it's all blown away (blown away)**

**Every brick, every board, every slamming door blown away (blown away)**

**'Til there's nothing left standing, nothing left of yesterday (blown away)**

**Every tear-soaked whiskey memory blown away,**

**Blown away, blown away, blown away, blown away, blown away**

Santana finshed panting while Mr. Schue and Rachel stared at her wide eyed.

"Good Santana," Mr. Schue said. Santana nodded knowing Mr. Schue wasn't really one to give compliments on performances. She walked off stage and walked out into the hall. She let out a nervous breath and leaned against the lockers.

_Why was I so nervous?_

Santana wondered.

"Santana?" Santana snapped her eyes open, not realizing that they were even closed and looked at Rachel.

"Yeah?" Santana asked softly, Rachel was taken aback by the softness that she had never heard from the fiery Latina.

"I just wanted to compliment you on your outstanding performance. I most certainly didn't expect that kind of wonderful voice to come from you. The rasp was especially amazing. I believe at some point in our school career that we should do a duet at my house for MySpace. Our voices would sound exceptional together. But I do understand the ridicule you would receive and I would understand why you wouldn't want to do a duet with me because quitting the Cheerios would already impact your reputation drastically and then doing a duet with me would completely-"

"Rachel!" Santana called with a chuckle. Rachel snapped her mouth shut and looked at Santana expectantly. "I'll do a duet with you," Santana said with a smile. Rachel's face lit up.

"Oh fantastic, I have the perfect song for-"

"Actually I was wondering if we could do "Because I knew you" from Wicked," Santana said. Rachel's face went into shock once again.

"You know Broadway musicals?" Rachel asked excitedly.

"I know a few," Santana with a smile and a shrug.

"That's so wonderful! Okay so how about tonight you come to my house and we'll start," Rachel sid excitedly. Santana smiled at the sparkle she saw in Rachel's eyes.

"Sure," Santana answered.

"Wonderful, here is my address," she pulled out a marker and started digging for paper.

"Just write it on my arm," Santana said, Rachel looked up at her skeptically.

"Are you sure you're not going to run to your friends and tell them that I defiled your body and have many slushies attack me tomorrow?" Rachel asked seriously. Santana stared at Rachel wide eyed.

"Well first just wanky… and second no I'm not going to do that. I'm turning a new leaf this year," Santana said with a smirk. Rachel rolled her eyes.

"Well alright then," Rachel said. She grabbed Santana's left hand and pulled it up to her face. Santana felt electric shocks run through her arm and then course through her body. Rachel wrote her address and number.

"See you them," Rachel said with a smile before walking away.

After school Santana walked out onto the football field with her uniform in hand and her gym clothes on. She already knew and went through the repercussions of quitting the Cheerios. Quinn, Brittany and the rest of the Cheerios watched her with confusion.

"Lopez! Why are you not in your uniform?" Sue yelled.

"I'm quitting," Santana answered.

"But you're one of the star performers, why exactly are you quitting?" Sue questioned.

"Because my heart is just not into it anymore, and I'll only bring the squad down," Santana answered.

"I don't care if your heart is in it or not…. But I guess you bringing down the team would be horrible, get out of here, I don't want you on my field again," Sue said waving Santana off. Santana nodded, laying her uniform down and started walking away.

"Santana what in the world are you doing?" Quinn asked grabbing her wrist and spinning her around.

"Like I said, quitting," Santana said again pulling her wrist away from Quinn. Brittany ran up to them.

"Why?" Quinn pressed.

"Because I don't want to cheer anymore and be coaches lap dog," Santana said to her with a roll of her eyes.

"Who's number and address is that? Is it a boy's? Is that why you're quitting? So you can be with him?" Quinn fired out.

"Quinn," Brittany muttered.

"No, it's Rachel's and I'm heading to her house," Santana said, annoyed that Quinn just assumed it would be a guy.

"What! Treasure-Trail? Tell me you're planning on humiliating her," Quinn exclaimed.

"No, we're doing a duet," Santana snapped at her.

"I didn't think you could sing," Quinn muttered.

"Well if you ever paid attention to me at all since Junior High you would know that I actually like singing and that I'm even good at it!" Santana yelled. Quinn and Brittany looked at her shocked. Santana saw their faces and sighed, rubbing her forehead.

"Look I'm sorry, to both of you. But I have something majorly important going on," Santana said and started walking away again before turning around and looking at her longtime friends.

"Oh and Quinn, even though I'm busy and we're really not that close anymore, you can still talk to me about anything, you too Britt," Santana said with a soft smile that her friends haven't seen in a long time. With that Santana walked away and headed to Rachel's.


End file.
